01-06-23

What does your birthday mean? Party, cake, balloons, gifts or a smitten kiss? Or, is it just another day? Some think a birthday is only a means to calculate the age. Is it a reminder that aging is a kind of ‘lost youth’ and you must value your remaining time?

The Bible told us that God created mankind and so we owe him our utmost gratitude. Rejoice for another year of birth and have a prayer of thanks.

I do not want to make a big deal out of my birthday. It is a test for my emotional condition at a sensitive moment in the year. My satisfaction and aspiration often go, in a different direction from the expectations of others, when I get one year older. Besides, I do not enjoy being the centre of attention on my birthday. I do not like receiving gifts or cards. Another year of peace requires a quiet journey beginning with my birthday.

I am one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. As a lawyer, I was always raided by sudden legal jobs such as going to court for an injunction order, applying for bail when client was remanded in custody by the law enforcement agency or attending an urgent family meeting on the verge of death of their beloved one. There were several occasions on which I had to cancel my birthday party in order to fulfil my professional duties.

In 1912, the elegant Manila Hotel first opened its doors to the public. It was the first 5-star hotel in the Philippines visited by the illustrious of guests such as Ernest Hemingway. When I was young, friends took me to fly to stay there on a Saturday to celebrate my birthday. We had a wonderful quick dinner and returned to Hong Kong on Sunday morning. Perhaps as Mick Jagger said, “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing!”

Now, too many of us tend to worship self-indulgence. We are often stripped bare by the curse of plenty. There was a time in life when I thought I needed materialistic things that I could imagine. At my present age, I simply desire peace and simplicity. Often, I see simplicity as a means to an end—where the end is a happier life. I feel bad when friends spend money on me on my birthday. We make a great life by what we give, not what we get; and it will surely be a better idea to make donations to those in need than squandering our money on birthday gifts and parties on each other. Many birthday gifts are expensive but the most expensive things in the world are likely the most useless. Some friends like to compare birthday gifts at the party and such comparison can lead to negative emotions such as envy, guilt and shame, causing great harm to friendship.

The global market for birthday greeting cards has been declining and is projected to decline faster in the coming years. Mailing paper cards is a dying tradition. We are no longer eager to write some warm and enthusiastic words on cards. Nowadays, we all think texting mobile messages works best. We do not have time for a chat over the phone. Texting birthday messages is quick and unintrusive—ironically, only for the senders. For the recipient, he can also easily delete a birthday message and there is no more need for him to store a lot of birthday cards in plastic boxes. This is the way of what this cold world should be.

Peace is the elimination of the unnecessary. I need no birthday cards, gift or parties. Birthday is the day to take a break, be alone and write rambling life resolutions. It is a day, with gravity, to look back at the years that you have survived. Learn how far you have come. Fate is not your future. Sad life will come on your own.

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